How it feels to be ‘Phased Out’ 

Everybody dreads not being able to fit in, it’s the epitome of your teenage years. “Do I wear this so they’ll approve?” The question that follows every single planning arrangement. However, what people don’t tell you is even when high school has passed, you can still be phased out and it’s the most horrible thing as majority of the time, you won’t even be told why. 

Being phased out is a lot different from not fitting in. You’ve already fit in, just you’ve outlived the shape of the group and before you know it, there’s no room for you anymore. You were too loud, too dominant, too wonderful for people to appreciate, maybe they were jealous, maybe they didn’t understand you. The best advice I ever got was, “FUCK them”. They don’t wanna be around you, you don’t need them, they aren’t worth it. 

Chances are, you have a lot more to offer and to better people. Your soul is meant for another group somewhere, somewhere where you’ll be accepted and encouraged and supported no matter what. Your heart will feel full and beautiful because you’ll be surrounded by people who are beautiful and loving and that’s what you need. 

Writing from experience, I have been phased out twice this year. Once because I was accused of being unloyal, just because I wasn’t very active within the group and I had loyalties everywhere, I was pulled in all directions so I wasn’t all in. I can definitely say I cared lots about these people and despite being upset and hurt by them, I know they will make it really far in their lives but we didn’t fit together as a pack and I had to go rogue. That’s okay, I still think about these people from time to time and miss the banter, the fact we all had similar interests in our chosen subject and could have lengthy debates. But I think it was probably for the best, I didn’t belong there and I think I knew that for a long time. 

The second time, was a bunch of girls I spent my last year at college with. I cared about them all dearly, I thought we all had each other’s backs. But the smiles when I was disappointed with my a level results, or the lack of support when I was going through emotional trouble was alarming. There was another girl, a dear friend of mine who was also subjected to this but I’ll have her back always as she’s an incredible person. But these people were purposely lying to our faces and making it known that we weren’t welcome, time and time again. It was hard hitting, particularly being close for so long. 

But where there’s issues, there’s stars. Something that can be bad, can be good again. Finding new people who are caring and lovely and make you feel like a diamond is the way to go. You may not belong with some people you call your friends, but you certainly do with others. Speaking from experience, things do happen for a reason and usually a brilliant one. So keep your head held high if you are going through this. 


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