Whenever I think of a dating story, I think flowers, chocolates and a cute little background. Maybe I’m a traditionalist, maybe I’ve watched too many old movies. Either way, that has clearly changed as I embarked on an experiment to test the dating site that is Tinder.
“Should we try it? I don’t even know how it works” my friend said at a Halloween party. We had laughed at people who used Tinder for ages, convinced it was a sign of desperation and a skanky one stop for hook ups online. But at that moment, we all downloaded the app to see if we could get any matches. It became competition- which one of us would win the match test. It became cringeworthy when you accidentally right swiped somebody you didn’t want.
My tinder had a pattern. For every five group photos there were of so called ‘man slags’ with their snap backs and air max, there was one decent looking chap with an ironed shirt. Obviously I would go for the latter, but honestly appearances don’t make a difference.
“You look so cute. I wish I could tie you up.” That was my first ever message on tinder. I unmatched him instantly. What gave him the audacity for him to be so complacent to expect I would be okay with that? Then I realised, I was new in this world and there were things I would have to learn. Girls probably spoke to him like that all the time on there! The majority of my matches would small talk me until I had to block them, purely out of boredom and a lack of explanation. Then there would be a few “call me daddy” messages which I would always reply “I don’t even call my dad that”.
In a world where we consume everything, it’s not a surprise tinder is set out the way it is. We advertise ourselves, put ourselves on a flicking stock market and allow people to choose us based on our appearances and bio. I found myself thinking as I flicked through the boys, “which one would be more suited to me?”. It was as if I was picking out plates at IKEA.
I did meet a few lovely people on there, however I told them straight up I was there for friendship. They are people I will keep around for a long time, we can joke about anything and it’s lovely. But there are a few people I would be incredibly wary of- for example, twenty one year old dominants who are desperate for a submissive and think they can pry you to their houses with a dominoes pizza. And boys who will take you on a date and will act like gentlemen but will then instantly ask for nudes like they are entitled.
I know a few couples who met on tinder and are insanely happy, but that’s a very small statistic compared to everything else going on. Have you tried it? What’s your opinion?